I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
