There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
