I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why didn't you poke me back
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
