spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize