Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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