If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
