Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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