Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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