i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
