I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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