He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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