Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
