Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
