I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
