how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
