Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
