I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
