so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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