like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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