Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
