i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize