So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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