I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
