I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
