i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
