alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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