I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
