Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
