Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
These tits shall not be calmed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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