If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
