Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
