I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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