margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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