Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
