i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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