Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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