he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
