i would punch a child for taco bell
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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