wat bout pragnant strippers??
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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