You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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