Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
