I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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