It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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