and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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