you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
