sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
