Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
