I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
