At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
