Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
