Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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