and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
