Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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