i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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