thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
two words: eviction party
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
