Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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